Endometriosis & PTSD

Both Stage 4 Endometriosis Post-Hysterectomy & PTSD present symptoms that are similar, and this is attributed to Hormone Levels in the Brain.

Recently, after weeks of research, I decided to try Hormone Treatment. Could the evidence found in PTSD Research involving Hormone Levels apply to me? Could the same principles work with Stage 4 Endometriosis after 12+ years of Hormone Suppression?

The answer is No. The Treatment ended in failure, an over production of clear mucus at the last Endometriosis implant site, my sinus cavity.

Migraine Day 3.

Well, at least I think it’s day 3… it may be longer and I have mis-diagnosed myself again. Or not. This is either a continuation of the relapse I thought I caught in time, or I am “coming down” from the Estrogen High.

I got off my 50th Birthday Cruise on April 8, took a nap, and joined a 30th Birthday Party Bus. After being on the water for 7 days, the bumpy ride on the Party Bus made dancing fairly easy.

By Monday, my nose was bleeding fairly regularly. It started Sunday April 9, into Monday, and remained spotty until I started coughing up blood & mucus. And then… it stopped. The dizziness was still there, but the mucus and blood had stopped.

I continued to feel a little woozy, dizzy, but I attributed that to transitioning from the Boat and common Allergies. I started to feel well enough on Saturday April 15 so I went to see Matthew. My plan was to leave by 9a Sunday Morning for a Ride in the afternoon. I started sneezing as soon as I arrived.

I woke up Sunday Morning with a Headache. It was low grade enough that I misjudged the off ramp before crashing into a Migraine.

I should note that from Thursday – Saturday I was having nightmares. No idea what but they were violent enough that I hurt myself in my sleep.

I tried to fight off the morning headache with food, caffeine, nicotine, marijuana… the usual. Nothing worked, but I got it down to a dull thud.

One of my PTSD infrequent cycles ends in a massive migraine. I don’t know I am in *that* cycle until the headache starts and by then it’s too late. I used to attribute it to Endometriosis, and being that we are at the 15th-20th of the month it would make sense. Except this time they started 5 days early. So probably PTSD not Endo. But this is entirely new territory, the Long Term effects of Lupron Depot, the consequences of Hormone Treatment over Surgery, and the delayed diagnosis which has long lasting impacts.

I was supposed to ride Knight on Sunday, so I blamed the headache on too much rum with Matt and not enough food & caffeine, and pushed on. By the time I got to the barn I was fighting back nausea and blinding nuclear pain in my skull.

Once again I missed the Flags, sped right on by, and crashed into a PTSD Migraine. I still can’t believe I was able to keep driving. My trainer kept asking to bring Knight up to the cross ties for me and I kept saying “I don’t want him to see me like this”.

I parked next to the dressage ring and laid in the back of the convertible watching the Arabian and the Pony practice 20m circles and diagonal transitions.

When they were done my Trainer rode by and said “I’m putting Knight in the bull pen, you can at least see him from the car.”

I just laid back down.

I heard his feet, that long rhythmic thud only a Draft produces, before anything else. He is so beautiful, the biggest thing on the ranch, and an amazing personality. This horse and I have been on one hell of a journey. He came to the car and very gently said hello. I told him I was sorry for being sick and he brought his head down so our eyes were Level – the soft brown eye looking at the fog of pain all around me. As Sarah & Knight walked to the bull pen I watched my beautiful beast.

As soon as I could sit up for more than 5min without pain, I got out of the car and made my way to the bull pen. Knight was reaching for sweet grass through the pipe corral and being kind about pretending something so flimsy could restrain him. We said hello and I started pulling fistfuls for him.  He gave me his head and sweetly snuggled my neck and shoulders. He was very aware the pain was in my head.

I went and got the curry comb and brush. Knight gave me the parts of his body that needed scritching and he was so “in the moment”.

Horses really are healing. Those few moments touching and brushing Knight released enough pain to allow me to drive back home.

One of the most important factors in Training – Equine, Service Dog, scuba, fitness, whatever… – is the Trainer. This person who takes on the responsibility of guiding and encouraging you also must realize and accept that PTSD changes everything. The Activity being Trained is actually Therapy for Repairing the Brain. A good solid Trainer will know exactly how to communicate with YOU on your needs.

My trainer knew my seeing Knight, touching him and interacting with him would improve my pain level. She was right.

 

Now I need to figure out what it’s going to take to stop these cycles, whether they are Endometriosis or PTSD, I need to get them medically regulated. Research has already proven that too much or too little estrogen over long periods of time have long term effects on the Brain. But if PTSD needs Estrogen to go back into remission, and Endometriosis must suppress Estrogen to remain in remission, where does that leave me?

Here I go Again into the bleeding edge of Medical Technology and Pharmacology. The Estrogen Ribbon wound around both Diseases, has both culminating in the Brain. I must turn to the newest medicine to fight the diseases back into remission.

Well, if I want to keep living, that is….

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