August of 1997 I had another clot while on the low dose BCP. I was introduced to the Depot Provera 3 month shot, controls Endo and is milder than Lupron. I signed up for a 9 month treatment of 1 shot every three months. The idea being I would delay pregnancy and children for another 9 months while I treated the clotting.
The treatment caused weight gain, which did not bode well for the marriage. I went on multiple weight control programs, until finally giving up in December.
In March 1998, I was scheduled for shot #3. I waited until after our trip to Las Vegas for our 2 year Wedding Anniversary. By July I started having problems again. The onset was large clots and severe cramping. I went back to the Gynecologist when the insurance put a hold on my treatment. They put me in “referral hell”.
My hormones were a mess and the Endometriosis was in full force. In October 1998, I was spending more and more time in bed and begging any doctor who would see me for hydrocodine for the pain.
November & December of 1998 were a disaster. To this day I am stunned that I survived the ordeal. December 3, 1998 was officially day 1 of my Chronic Stage IV Aggressive Recurring Endometriosis. My husband became my dealer, I was a junkie for hydrocodine – the pain was so bad I wished for death.
After experimenting with doses and types, in August 1999 I was prescribed Low dose Estrogen Supplement (HRT), and by April 2000 I was feeling ill again.
It was April when I switched to All Natural Estrogen Supplement Low Dose plus Anti Depressant for Add Back Therapy, but even the natural products were not helping. In August the Endo returns and I am in surgery by October 2000.
The marriage was at its limits with my illness. He bought Archie God win for me so I wouldn’t be alone during recovery.
I was approached again with another round of Chemo (Lupron 11.25 for 9 months) followed by 3 months of Radiation. I refused, he was furious. I was supposed to endure 9 months of treatment at a slightly lower dose than I already had, in the hopes of buying another 8 years, of which 2 whould be spent recovering and 2 may or not be remembered. So really, 6 good years.
This goes back to the surviving part. He saved my life once, and when we realized it was inevitable that there wouldn’t be a second time, the marriage ended. The changes in one’s life that occur, changes that impact life decisions and choices.
That November, I went on a low dose Anti Depressant to monitor estrogen production. I lasted through the Holidays.
In January 2001, I made the decision to forego any more HRT, no Chemo and no Radiation. No Anti Depressants, no pills. We fought about it through March when we moved into separate bedrooms and continued to fight until he left for Chicago in June 2001.
In September, he called me to tell me that he understood my position on treatment. We Reconciled.
But then in November I Broken my Left Ankle. A direct result of Osteoporosis – a long term Lupron side effect come back to haunt me. Even though my Bone Density Scan resulted in acceptable levels in 1998, I had so many fluxuations in my Hormone Levels I had done quite a bit of damage to my bones and my brain. We fought through the holidays, until things settled down in the spring.
In March 2003 I broke my Right Ankle. He started in on me again about Treatment. We separated in June.
Right on schedule in October 2003 the Endo returns. This time as an endometrial patch in my nasal passages – basically a cyst in my sinus. I was battling bloody noses, abscessed Sinus cavity, and terrible headaches. I started a treatment of Antibiotics, Anti Inflammatory & Antidepressants. Due to the decreased Immune System, I contracted Salmonella in November 2003. I was miserable and in the 2 weeks over Thanksgiving 2003 I Attempted Suicide.
I ran off to Las Vegas for December. While there, I got everything together for a DNR and Living Will. I agreed o
I finally have surgery in February with an Oral Surgeon who removed the cyst in my sinus by going up through the roof of my mouth. I am still under Psychological care and living in San Pedro.
I used the Psychiatrist to assist me with my DNR and in March, after the surgery, I add the Declination of Medical Treatment to the DNR Order.